Last week we finished our 2020 9 day EMCC Coaching Practitioner programme, on a real high, despite the pandemic restrictions. We are about to embark on a fresh recruitment campaign to get a new group of delegates together for the Developing Success 2021 EMCC 9 day Coaching Practitioner Programme. We always put on our marketing materials that coming on this programme can be ‘life-changing’ and ‘transformational’ and that self-development comes as standard. So – if it is life changing then why? Do we help people to become experts in growth and change –or is it just a cheesy sales pitch to get bums on seats?

Here’s why I’m passionate about the courses we run and the coaching work we do; then you can decide for yourself…

I was speaking with a relative of a friend and colleague of mine, who is interested in becoming a coach, so I’d said I’d chat with him, and tell him a bit about what I do. As I started talking, I started to share (anonymously) some of the features of the work I do with clients. Many of the clients I work with are in challenging and responsible jobs, and are well respected within the organisation they work in. The constant variety of topics that clients bring to coaching is one of the reasons I love the work – people are endlessly wonderful and fascinating…and complex. Some clients suffer from anxiety and low self-esteem, imposter syndrome or strong powerful inner critics. They describe situations of self-sabotage and low confidence. To work with these clients in a transactional kind of way, looking at specific day to day issues, may be useful in some way, but it wouldn’t be getting to the heart of the matter.

Over a number of sessions, I aim to build a relationship with clients, building trust and an authentic dialogue. We sometimes explore people’s life stories and backgrounds, in order to work out how the past is showing up in the present. So what can I do and be as a coach working alongside this client?

It was at this point that I realised one of my fundamental roles as a coach is to help people to see themselves more clearly. To act as a mirror for them. Not a mirror that enhances or detracts from them in any way – but a true reflection of them. I can’t think of a client that I’ve ever worked with that sees themselves clearly. And guess what – many peoples’ views of themselves are distorted – in a bad way. In addition to this, is something we call ‘the dance’? You can’t just start telling people how you find them and how others see them. Most clients have a really limited tolerance for being told positive things. You have to gain trust and respect in the relationship, and then you have to figure out how this person you’re working with might actually take something in and let it land. Too much, and you’re in danger of overwhelming them, and too little and they might experience a lack of contact with you. Working out the optimal ‘distance’ for each client, and how to ‘dance’ with them is key. No two clients are the same. When you are able to hold the mirror up at the right angle and the right spacing, and keep yourself out of the reflection, and hold the space for the person to get a glimpse of who they really are – that’s transformational and life changing. And that’s what we do when we coach people, and that’s what we train and develop people to be able to do for others, while of course experiencing it for themselves on the programmes.

Does that sound cheesy or rather wonderful?