It seems like pretty much everywhere I look at the moment there are news articles or social media posts about identity – the zeitgeist seems to be all about finding our true identity – and that can be about our gender, our sexuality, our race, our different abilities, our religion, our class, education level, and so the list goes on. It can feel like a minefield for a coach – wanting to ‘get it right’ and create rapport and connection with our coachees. It’s not just about not offending someone by saying the wrong thing. As coaches we have to really get alongside others, creating connection and working with empathy – when we can’t ever fully know someone else’s lived experience.

I know I have a desire to ‘get it right’ and know that sometimes I fall short. So – how to work in this space – well cheesy as it may sound – I honestly think there is only one answer to it all, and in order to illustrate this I saw a rather wonderful video of Gandalf himself speaking about his beloved city of Manchester. He tackles the area of pronouns, but I think it can apply to the whole area of identity and how we can work with each other.

Sir Ian said: “If you ever arrive in Manchester, if you’re lucky enough to be able to afford the train fare, you come down the steps at Piccadilly, and if you’re lucky enough to be able to afford a taxi, you get in the back of one, and the taxi driver, usually a man but not always, says: ‘Where you going to love?’”

At this point in telling the story, Ian takes a huge sniff and starts to mock-sob, before saying: “Oh, and I feel I’m home.”

He then continues, with his hands cupping his face: “Where grown men call strangers ‘love’. I think if we all did that, it would be a rather better place wouldn’t it?”

“And when people have got problems with gender, and pronouns, and so on, ‘love’ covers everyone really. Just call everyone ‘love’.”

Isn’t that really rather marvellous? Well – being a person of lived ‘Northern’ experience – that works for me!