Susan David writes eloquently about emotional agility and this post on LinkedIn really resonated with some of the work I am doing in one-to-one coaching and in the setting of coach training, as well as my learnings for myself.

The stories we tell ourselves or put in another way, how we deal with our internal world guides how we live in the external world.

Many of you will know from my previous blogs my story for a long time was “I can’t write blogs.” Whilst my story hasn’t developed enough to be able to say “I write blogs with confidence”, it is shifting.

What I notice about many of my coaching clients is, the stories they tell themselves they would never tell to others. How harsh we can be with ourselves. I will often ask them if their story serves them well. Most of the time the answer is no, their stories undermine who they are and stop them being the best they can be. Their stories can create anxiety and in the dark of night, get bigger and more hard hitting.

I agree with Susan about noticing our stories with compassion, many of my clients will hear me say “be kind to yourself”. The idea of being curious and trying to understand what it is trying to protect ourselves from, is a really useful challenge. Often it is protecting ourselves from something in our earlier life that is no longer present in our current external world but it lives strong and loud in our internal world.

Our stories don’t need to govern us, as Susan says we are not our story, we get to choose how we act. Like going to the gym to build up our stamina and muscles, choosing to act rather than letting our stories play out in our external world, will need practice too.

So, my question to you is, What is the story in your internal world, that if you were able to quieten it, would have a positive impact on how you live your life? Be courageous and be kind to yourself, hear that story but choose to act in a way that will be life enhancing today.

Good luck!